More Than a Fire Hazard
by John Locke
Summary: Edward is exhausted from the amount of pointless missions Colonel Roy Mustang sends him on, and is suffering from lack of sleep. When he inadvertantly falls asleep in the middle of the Central HQ building, he becomes more than a fire hazard. EdxRoy
1. Fire Hazard

A/N This is just the beginning, hope you all enjoy.

More Than a Fire Hazard

It was a particularly boring day for the Elric brothers, as they sat in the military building... just sitting. They had no other leads on the stone to go investigate, and Colonel Mustang had nothing for them to do. The sounds of the somewhat busy workers a little way away from them, just flitted in one ear (or in Al's case from one side of his helmet) and out the other. Sighing almost defeated, Al made a small ruckus as he stood up, "Brother, I'm going to go for a walk around the office. Do you want to come with me?"

It was apparent that the young boy was too restless to just sit around, but his elder brother had other ideas, "No thanks Al, I'm just going to stay put. Watch where you go though, you don't want to get into any trouble with so many people being so bored..." a slight hint of amusement filled Ed's lethargically slow voice. He felt just as sluggish as well, a slug. With a short nod in Ed's direction Al took off at a slow pace, his head held high as he just wandered around.

Ed, however was feeling the ache of sleep creep up behind his eyes, as he had missed a lot of sleep traveling back to central from the last dead end. And what better place to take a nap then the particularly fire-hazardous spot than a stairwell. Coming back into the building from his lunch break, Havoc was leaping up the stairs, two at a time, and of course being in such a hurried state he was not looking where he was going as he dashed towards the door once his foot hit the landing. About five feet down the hallway after the door, Havoc was thrown from his upright position onto the floor with a loud "Augh," and a semi-conscious grunt from the obstacle named Ed. Pulling himself up from the floor, Havoc shot a nasty look at the Fullmetal Alchemist before calmly walking through the door intent on seeing Colonel Mustang now, instead of Hughes.

Said Fullmetal Alchemist didn't seem to stir from his peaceful nap, his head resting against his balled up cloak. He slept on, until a few minutes later Hawkeye entered the stairwell, looking for the sleeping Alchemist. "Ed, Sir. Wake up, Colonel Mustang wishes to speak to you," she said in a slightly amused tone as she poked at Ed with her foot.

All that happened was that Ed turned over and grumbled, "Tell the Colonel that I died and didn't leave a forwarding address."

Sighing exasperatedly Hawkeye whipped out her pistol and bent over pressing the barrel lightly against Ed's temple, "Get up now Fullmetal, or else." Her tone was now 'say anything smart assed again and you're fucked over'.

"Okay, okay! I'm going. Put that damned thing away Riza, no need to threaten my life," now Ed's well known temper was flaring as he sat up and grabbed his cloak. Standing up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he shuddered slightly at the sudden coldness of his auto-mail fingers pressed against his eye lid. 


	2. Issues

(A/N WOW! Thank you all so much for reviewing… way many more than I thought I would get! I'm soo sooo happy that you all like this story, and I'm sorry that the chapters are on the short side for now…) 

**Chapter Two: Issues**

Riza pushed him at gun point into Colonel Mustang's office. With a short statement, "Here he is Sir," she shut the door quickly after her with a snap. By now, Edward was fully awake and in a relatively good mood. Despite being awakened at gun-point. Which was rare for the short tempered young man, especially when being dragged into a situation that could have been avoided. This rare sight however, was not unnoticed by Roy Mustang, whom simply laid down his pen and glanced with a raised eyebrow over towards his subordinate. "So, Fullmetal. What have I been hearing? You were blocking an entire hallway, and caused Lt. Havoc to trip and fall... is that it?" His voice was steady and calm, although he made his customary jab at Edward's height. Mentally, Roy was counting down until Edward had realized exactly what he had said.

"Yes an entire... HEY! Stop making fun of my height!" All traces of amusement was stripped from Edward's voice as he shot his customary glare at his Commanding officer.

Finding great amusement in Edward's reaction as always, Roy took full advantage of the somewhat subdued, for Edward, reaction to his insinuation. The Colonel stood up slowly, and walked to the other side of his desk. Leaning casually against the oaken piece of furniture a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, "Height? You have no height. Tell you what Fullmetal, go out and get some height, and then I will make fun of it." His smug was fully formed now as he observed the slight twitching of his subordinate.

"You bastard..." it was all Edward could say before lunging forward intent on punching the amused Colonel. From what Edward had observed in previous confrontations was that Roy had usually kept his hands in his pockets at first, leaving him susceptible to an attack; if it was done swift enough. But what Edward had misjudged in his hazed fury, was that Roy was leaning against the desk, his hands in plain sight.

Roy was no fool, having fought in an indescribable war his reflexes were honed to that of a cat. Instead of taking Edward's intended punch to the stomach, he caught his superiors fist in his palm. Although his stomach suffered no pain, his hand did. A sickening crack resounded in both pair of ears and an equally loud swear escaped Roy's lips, "_Fuck!_" Pure agony laced his voice as he shrunk back against the desk cradling his hand to his chest. This was not the way he was supposed to be talking to Fullmetal about his sleeping habits. Even though he was not an entire fool, Roy lacked some ability to acknowledge one simple fact. Edward was right handed. Edward's right hand was made out of metal. And metal is very effective in breaking assorted items, including bone. Of course if there was anytime that Roy let his guard down, it was when he was either called useless, or extremely hurt. This time being the latter.

The slip in Roy's demeanor had actually scared Edward for a brief second, that initial fear slipped away with a wash of panic. He had actually hurt Roy Mustang. Colonel, Roy Mustang for that matter. He could be kicked out of the military for that, and that wasn't even the scariest part. That would have to be not having access to so many resources so he could find, or attempt to find a way to create a philosophers stone to give Alphonse his body back. His fevered thoughts were interrupted by Havoc and Hawkeye flooding into the office to check on the Colonel's scream.

"Well it seems that you're more than a fire hazard today Edward..." Havoc said slightly bitter in Edward's direction as he helped Roy remove his glove. "You broke his hand, in three places," he spoke through his cigarette as he inspected his Colonel's rapidly swelling hand.

"I-I didn't mean to… it was an accident," that of course was true. He fully intended on punching Roy in the stomach, not on having the bastard catch his fist mid-punch. Hawkeye raised an eyebrow in suspicion at this comment. "Really! I swear it was."

After Havoc had announced the amount of damage to Roy's hand he tried to get the Colonel to go to the infirmary, but to no avail. The stubborn man just cradled his hurt hand to his chest as he tried to regain his composure. Though the firm look of pain would not leave his face, but kept it in a tight grimace. Sighing in defeat, Havoc smoked away as he left the room, shrugging as he passed Hawkeye. After the door shut behind Havoc, the three were standing in a triangle, all looking in different directions.

Edward was staring at the floor in embarrassment, he couldn't bring himself to look up at Roy. Even though the young man had a strong will, and temper to match, he always had a bigger conscious. An overwhelming sense of guilt took over his mind, as he considered his rash actions. People always seemed to get hurt because of him, and they all tended to be the people he cared for the most… At that thought his eyes widened and he immediately turned to leave the room.

But Roy had been watching him, and Hawkeye in turn watching Roy. The sudden movement of the younger man made Roy step forward, "Where do you think you're going Fullmetal?" his voice was tinged ever so slightly with masked pain, to the trained ear anyhow.

There was no response from the young man, but Hawkeye spoke up instead, "Sir, you should have your hand checked out before anything else. It isn't good for…" her sentence was cut off as Roy dismissed her. With an odd glint in her eyes she left, side stepping Edward on her way out.

With his back now to Roy, Edward had to look over his shoulder to see the now stoic expression on Roy's face. He wasn't expecting anything else, but he couldn't help but feel a small wave of relief take over his face, "I was leaving," he stated quietly and simply.

"I do not think so," Roy replied coolly. With a slight smirk he nodded towards the door, "You will be accompanying me to the infirmary incase anybody should ask why my bones have been shattered so painfully."

"And why should I do that?" Edward's temper was returning, but he couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in the Colonel's direction. Why in the world would Roy really want him to come with him? The man was almost thirty for crying out loud, and was quite capable of ratting him out on his own. After all, the bastard liked to cause trouble… right?

-----

Those tables that they had the patients sit on, the ones with the sanitary wax paper on, were quite uncomfortable Roy mused. He kept on shifting as if he were three, rather than almost thirty every few seconds as his buttocks kept on going numb from the hard surface. Not only was his ass uncomfortable, his hand was throbbing like no other. He did all that he could from either passing out from the pain, or going into a rage to forget about the pain. He chose to do what he could from passing out. Biting down on his lower lip he kept his gaze steadily on the soft blue tiled floor while he waited for the attendant to return with pain killers.

It was that same piercing look that drew Edward's eyes to the floor in front of the Colonel. He was interested in why the Colonel was staring at the floor, rather than throwing this in his face. After all he, Roy, had been the second person he had hurt. First he tripped Havoc, and then shattered Roy's hand. Not a good start to the day. Not a good start at all. He himself was slumped over in a hard plastic chair, his ass receiving the same numbing treatment as was his superior's was. He had grown so restless in the chair that he was hardly in the chair at all, his neck touching the top of the chairs back, and his legs propped him up so that his ass barely even touched the bottom anymore.

Roy's eyes only moved from the spot on the floor when the door to the attendants office open and shut quickly, startling him slightly. Although he didn't show it, he looked up quickly and pried his teeth from their grooves in his bottom lip. He sighed audibly, wanting relief as soon as possible. But he was distracted further as a clatter and a string of curses rose to his ears. He looked away from the bemused attendant and back to the floor, where Edward now was. Apparently the noise had startled the younger man too, but to a different extent.

Huffing slightly, he stood up and dusted himself off, moving closer to the raised platform, almost like a dais, where Roy was seated, "Don't even think about it…" Edward was referring to a smart assed comment about being startled, but by the look Roy gave him, it was the last thing on his mind. Edward decided it would be a good thing to remain quiet for the rest of the little examination process, only talking when prompted. Which in itself, was a rarer thing than his being (outwardly) happy to see Colonel Mustang.

(A/N Hope that wasn't too awful.)


	3. Terms

(A/N: Sorry this took so damn long to type. I've had it in my notebook for a week or so.. I've just been busy. Thank you all for your reviews, I love you all, and the reviews themselves too. :D This is dedicated to 'Kara'.) 

**More Than A Fire Hazard: Chapter Three**

In the end, it didn't take all too long for Roy to have his hand wrapped tightly in a make-shift cast and given a short-term supply of pain killers. But it had seemed like an eternity to Edward. Who stood there not so complacently, watching the various expressions run their way over Roy's face. It intrigued the younger man, because the Colonel usually wore a mask of smugness, or showed no emotion at all. To see him be so human, it made him curious as to find out how to learn more about the man. But those thoughts, even just wondering about the man made a chill run up his spine, since when did he care about knowing Colonel Mustang? And why should he care, other than he had broken three of his bones. But otherwise, Edward was fine with his spit-fire type relationship with the Colonel. Or that was just what he was able to convince himself as he was brought back to the present time by said Colonel coughing to get his attention, "We can leave now, Fullmetal." With a curt nod towards the door, Roy's eyes did not stray from the wrap on his hand, totally missing the inquisitive stare on his subordinate's face.

The walk back up to Roy's office was completely silent, that was until Roy had dropped the small bottle of pain medication. As soon as he entered the hallway where Havoc had previously tripped over Edward. Edward muttered something lowly as he let the door slam with a deafening sound behind him and easily walked around the Colonel to pick up, more like chase after, the bottle. The sight of Edward actually doing something nice, for him nonetheless, brought a not so smug smirk to his lips. Just a peaceful look. But it might have just been the painkillers taking effect.

It was at that time though, of that tiny little satisfied smirk lying complacently on the Colonel's lips that Maes Hughes and Jean Havoc entered the hallway. One Jean Havoc almost tripping over the small Alchemist whom had just recovered the elusive pill bottle. Righting himself he shot a nasty look in Edward's direction and shoved an elbow in Maes' stomach for sniggering at him. Without a word Havoc moved straight to the door leaving a winded Maes with a Colonel with a bigger smirk, and Edward with a huffy look crossing his features. "It's not my fault he doesn't look where he's going..." Edward huffed as he shoved the bottle into Roy's good hand. "And you might want to put that in your pocket, I don't want to have to chase after it all day Mustang."

The look that Havoc had shot him had apparently shattered his quiet pensive mood, and was certainly bringing that smirk right off of Roy's face, but the only one who noticed was Maes. Although having slight difficulties breathing he said his good-bye and followed Havoc's route to the exit, intent on catching up with him.

-----

After a little lapse of time, Maes and Jean could be found sitting idly in a darkened bar. Although it was only mid-day things could always be accented with a relaxing beer or three no matter the time. Conversation had ranged from everyday menial tasks, to of course Maes' favorite topic, Gracia and Elysia. To which Jean rolled his eyes and lit up another cigarette, he had heard this story yesterday. By the time he had to snuff out the barely live butt of the cigarette Maes had a totally different look in his eyes as he surveyed the half full contents of his bottle. Deep green eyes held a glint that was somewhat unknown to Jean, and Jean was curious as to find out what exactly was going through his superior officer's, and friend's head.

As if reading Jean's mind Maes opened his mouth to speak, but stuck his bottle in his mouth draining a good portion of the remaining beer in one swig, eliciting a prolonged sigh from Jean. "If you have something to say Maes, just say it already. We aren't in grammar school anymore, you don't have to stall." His voice held it's ever present snarl to it, but it was affectionate, he actually liked Maes as a friend. To Jean, Maes was simply a great guy.

With a slight twitch of his lips, Maes was smirking quite eerily. "You know how I'm insisting that Roy get himself a nice wife..?" Of course this answer was an expected yes because it was no secret that Maes wanted Roy to be happy if anything, and the thing that made Maes the happiest was his wife, and daughter. So naturally it would be the same for Roy right? If he had found the right woman, is all. But being as human as he was Maes was having doubts over his previous actions and thoughts.

To this, Jean snorted into his drink. Picking his head up he shook it lightly, "Of course I do. He only rants about how idiotic you are for suggesting such a time consuming thing… You know as well as, or more than any of us, that he really only cares about his friends and the military. A steady relationship would only hinder him…" Jean thought he was right on the nose about Roy, he was close, but close wasn't enough in Alchemy. So why should it be in love?

Maes showed Jean a thoughtful nod before going on to speak, "I know how he feels about that… now. I can't believe it actually took me so long to see this. That Roy doesn't need a woman after all," he stopped speaking at the incredulous look on Jeans face. Coughing to clear his throat, he didn't pause for long, "He needs Edward."

The look was indescribable on Jean's face. A mixture of the past incredulity, with a new dumbstruck and almost horror stole over his features. "No, that would be disastrous. They are far too different… Plus Edward is far too young, and male…" The idea could not wrap itself around what Maes was trying to get at. His fearless leader, whom he pledged to follow forever because he wanted all women in the military to wear mini-skirts, could quite possibly be… gay? He needed another cigarette. Taking another from his pack he placed it idly between his lips, not lighting it immediately, "No… it couldn't work. They are too different." his voice was adamant, even through the cigarette's muffling abilities. It bounced lightly with the movement of his lips, and surprisingly didn't hinder Maes' hearing abilities.

With a short laugh Maes downed the rest of his drink, and rolled the bottle between his palms, "Jean, I think those cigarettes are affecting your thought processes. Too different? Ha. They couldn't be anymore similar." Everyone in Central as well as Eastern knew that Maes Hughes knew Roy Mustang more than anybody could ever imagine. As they had been friends for an extended period of time. But what Maes did not exude to anybody other than Gracia, or nobody else seemed to notice was that he was one of the few people to actually get to know Edward Elric as well. The things that both of them had seen and done would always haunt them in the back of their minds, the horrible images making themselves known forever. He himself could only imagine the pain they have dealt with, knowing that nobody else could comprehend.

Maes was pulled from his thought process as Jean shoved another cold bottle of beer into his face, the cold sweat on the bottle clinging to his skin. "Are you okay Maes? You seem kind of spacey… what are you thinking about?" Jean's voice was inquisitive as he sipped at his own beer. His own blue eyes shooting his superior a suspicious glance.

The older man just grinned maniacally across the table at the other man and took off his glasses to wipe them with a handkerchief he produced from his pocket. "Well, my dear Jean," he slipped his glasses up his nose carefully, "with our difference of opinion, I'd say a bet would be in order. I say that Roy and Edward are perfect compliments for each other, minus the age difference and the tempers." he said with a slight chuckle. "But otherwise I think they'd actually be happy."

The grin stood resiliently upon Maes' lips, giving Jean slight doubts about this particular bet, but being him, "I guess I could take you up on that Maes. But how about we cover our own asses and keep this between us? Hawkeye would pump our asses full of lead if she found us meddling in Mustang's affairs." They both shuddered at the thought of pissing Hawkeye off, and that part of the deal was sealed. "But we also need terms…" Getting straight to the point, he was.

The grin that was previously on Maes' lips feel eventually into a thoughtful smirk, "If you are so confidant Jean, then how about if you are proved right I will give up showing pictures of Elysia every chance I get." This was a hard thing to lay on the line, but Maes had insight into the two, and thought that he was more than right about the topic at hand. "And if I prove to be right, you must give up smoking." Of course Maes would never suggest that he would stop taking pictures, because that would be highly scandalous. But not showing them should be enough to provoke Jean into agreeing.

The look on Jean's face was of both object horror, and thankfulness. He neither wanted to give up smoking, but the thought of Maes having to stop shoving picture after picture down everybody's throat was appealing. A defiant sneer took over Jeans lips as he fluidly pulled a cigarette from his metal case and held it between the same scowling lips. Pursing them against the paper encased tobacco, Maes' eyes followed the cigarette as it moved while Jean spoke again, "You've got yourself a deal. Mustang would never jeopardize his rank for anything, or anybody. Especially for an illegal relationship. I've got to tell you Maes, this doesn't seem wholly fair; to you. Mustang's a skirt chaser if I've ever met one."

Without his heart, Mustang will only see women. No love, just pure lust to satisfy missing emotions. But with his heart he could see love and possibly even feel, no matter what. "Jean, one last thing. No interference. I cannot push them together, and you cannot pull them apart. We must see what will happen naturally."

His only response was a metallic click of a lighter and a curt nod.


	4. Breaking Down

_Author's Note: Sorry this is taking so long to post... I have the story itself written out, and what isn't written is in my head. I just need to clear away all of the drabbles to get to the important stuff. Thank you all SO much for reviewing. You make this worthwhile!_

**More Than A Fire Hazard; Chapter Four**

He felt that it was his duty, to get the Colonel to take the pain killers. After all, it was his actions that caused said pain in the first place. Normally he wouldn't give a shit whether or not Mustang was in pain, because he never really witnessed the man as a true human being. The front had been forcibly taken down by Fullmetal, his mask of calmness shattered just like the unsettled bones in his hand, and it was bothering him to witness such a thing; it was almost indecent. He had to get the image of a Mustang with real emotions out of his mind, but with every cringe and grimace the image was further engraved into his mind.

So these thoughts were plaguing the younger Alchemist when it came time for Roy to take his pain pills again. And the Flame Alchemist was giving him hell, "I do not need to take them, Fullmetal. Please leave me alone. I can handle the pain on my own without them," it would have been easy for even a small child to hear the waver of pain in Roy's voice.

Sighing in frustration Edward watched the pills get tossed around in the transparent bottle as he rolled it over and over again in his palm, as he tried to figure a way into this stubborn man's mind. Albeit he himself was having trouble trying to figure out why he really cared.

Somehow all of his luck had run out today, as he could still do paper work. That had been attributed to the findings of Riza Hawkeye, whom had discovered that Roy was indeed ambidextrous. Meaning, he could write with his left hand as well as his right. The sharp-eyed First Lieutenant found it to be the best that the Colonel got some work done if he refused to go home, so he might as well be productive. Not like he was going to read the papers anyway, with the pain taking over his mind.

Setting down his pen on top of his relatively small stack of papers, he looked over to Edward whose back was at the bookcase, his eyes staring down at the Colonel. Raising an eyebrow questioningly he spoke, "How did you get those anyhow? I put them in my drawer." It would be an understatement to say that Roy was perplexed as to how the young man had obtained his pills.

Shooting Roy a look that clearly questioned the Colonel's sanity, "You must be going litearlly insane, Mustang. You handed them back to me after ten minutes, complaining that you didn't want them; at all," Edward's voice was somewhat reproachful. He had always seen Mustang as a wholly collected guy, and for him not to remember handing him a small bottle of pills seemed like somehting highly unusual. "But you should still take them, I don't want to get Lieutenant Hawkeye in here," though he was slightly, microscopically concerned for Roy; a slight glint appeared in his eyes as he surveyed the pensieve look on Roy's face.

When a thought crossed his mind, Edward noticed the way his superior chewed on his lower lip. Sighing quietly Roy picked up his pen again, just fiddling with it between his forefinger and his thumb as he spoke in his usual drawl, "Well I suppose getting _First_ Lieutenant Hawkeye would be quite foolish. She would undoubtedly be dragging you out by your braid for bothering me." It was a mere suggestion but Roy knew that Edward was smart enough to get his implication of self-damnation.

And Roy was right as a breif look of object horror was thrown his way. A small smirk found its way tugging upward at the corners of Roy's mouth, "Well then. One good turn deserves another I guess," Edward said frowning deeply, "But you should still take the damn pain killer regardless."

Rolling his eyes Roy gave Edward a pointed look, "You have no idea of what I do and do not need Fullmetal. Nor do you have any real sense of who I am. You judge far too quickly in order to see the whole picture, and you _only_ have a half-baked idea that I am only some cocky bastard. But as the cliche saying goes; never judge a book by it's cover," this was said without his usual confidence, his eyes locking breifly on the pale lips of his subordinate. Watching them turn deeper into a frown.

"There are things I acknowledge, for all you can tell, that you may never think I see. I was naive at first to thnk that you only had one side, but what else is a person to think when they can only see the side presented to them? How is anybody able to know you, if you only let them see you being a calculating man with a stoic expression; what do you expect people to think?" Edward's voice was unwaving in his conviction, it was evident that this boy, was not an ordinary child. As Roy already knew all too well, and had witnessed on many occasions.

Sighing heavily he extended his arm, his hand; palm open, facing the ceiling. "Give me the damned pill," and for once, in Edward's time in the military, Roy's expressionless lips fell into a deep frown not much unlike his.

The first sign of a broken dam always was the smallest.


End file.
